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He immersed himself in every interest he took up. Special moments from that week that didn’t make the cut here or in last week’s profile include Mac doing several minutes of Twisted Sister’s “I Wanna Rock” for everyone in the Colbert show green room, taking such an interest in an automated vertical parking lot that he stopped to talk to staff about how it works, and insisting that he watched every episode to date of Orange Is the New Black in one sitting. As usual, I came away unnerved by his poise, and anxious to try to emulate it in my own life. The talk was important to me because, like any conversation we ever had about the big picture over the last three years, on the record or off, I was not-so-secretly there to learn. Sometimes they differed dramatically, and I was keen on cutting through the dissonance. Whenever I wrote about Mac Miller, I tried to close the gap between the person I saw and the figure people imagined as they listened to the records. Below is an edited version of that conversation. Over the weekend I realized that I was sitting on the transcript of the interview that sourced last week’s profile, and that it was most likely his last interview, and that there’s an awful lot of it that no one else has seen. One of the many pains of losing him right now is knowing he had talent, he had drive, he had plans, and he most certainly would have made good on all three. What grew over the years was the arsenal of tools he was able to use to express himself. Really, I think people are trying to find ways to say that Mac was unafraid to be publicly imperfect, to not have all the answers, to worry, to question. I’ve seen a lot of writers say he was a “work in progress,” and that’s true in the sense that we all are, constantly, in some sort of a state of flux. Mac showed you the highs, and he spoke candidly to the lows.
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You think Mac’s “Weekend” is going to be a party song in the spirit of “Just Got Paid” and “Off the Wall,” but it’s considerably more freaked out about how to make it to some days off than it is concerned about what it intends to do with them.
Think of Paul pitching “Eleanor Rigby” and “Here, There, and Everywhere” for Revolver or John singing those morbid “She Said She Said” and “I’m Only Sleeping” lyrics like jingles. He loved the Beatles, and I think a dash of their duality manifested in his own work. Music brought Mac Miller peace, and he returned the favor by spreading comfort through his own art. I fall clean and hard when things turn out differently.
I relate, and I always convince myself that other people who strike me as having had to work through hardships like anxiety and depression are built to last. That thing.” Mac dealt with more, and he fought back harder. The best way I’ve seen it articulated was a tweet from the actor and singer Raleigh Ritchie, who said, “You can hear it in him. It felt like he had been treated to more hours in a day than the rest of us. From the first time I ever heard from him, he was kind, smart, and perceptive beyond his years. I was sure I would get to pick Mac Miller’s brain about feelings and music and everything in between for years to come, and happy about the honor. I’ve felt shipwrecked for days because I thought I knew one thing, and another turned out to be the case. Your mind is traveling in one direction, and reality suddenly veers sharply left. It offers a window into Miller’s creative process, his life, and what he’d hoped to do next. This interview - edited here for length and clarity - was the basis for that profile. Over the course of two days, music critic Craig Jenkins spoke with Mac Miller in New York for a profile.
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